Sponsors of All Kinds

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend for dinner at a little Italian place. Like every other restaurant in America, the tv was tuned into the game. We picked a table where we couldn’t see it, because, well, American football is lame compared to the real thing. Aaron (boyfriend) could see the game if he leaned back in his chair, so while we were waiting on our food, he watched a commercial or two. The following is a conversation where I tried to have an interest in sports.

Me: So who’s winning?

Aaron: The Giants


Aaron: What? No, the Giants. Where did you get Vaginas from? You are deaf.

Me: I don’t know. I don’t know much about football.

*five minutes pass*

Aaron: Who would sponsor them?

Me: Summer’s Eve.

Aaron: *annoyed look* I know what that is. I stock at a grocery store.

Me: Then you know how perfect it is to have them sponsor the Vaginas.

Trojan would sponsor the Penises.

I wonder who would sponsor the Breasts…VICTORIA SECRET!!

Who would sponsor the Testicles?

Aaron: An athletic cup.

Me: YES!!

We watched the halftime show back at his place but turned off the tv to watch a movie, and this morning as we were listening to the radio, we were told the winners.

Aaron and I: THE VAGINAS WON!!!!!

Thank you, Giants. This wouldn’t have been as funny if you had lost.

~Accidentally Pleasant


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