A “Special” Relationship

My boyfriend and I send some weird texts back and forth. By weird, I don’t mean personal. I have only a small readership as it is. I’d rather not alienate the people who do read this.

Aaron: I wonder where all of this snow is?
Me: I ate it. It was delicious.
Aaron: Right as I got that text I looked outside to see it snowing.
Me: Darn. You caught me.

A discussion about his bromance with his old college roomie quickly devolved into them being engaged. Somehow, we got talking about his bridesmaids.

Me: They are your bridesmaids. You pick them.
Aaron: Ok, I’ve got some in mind. Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez(just to piss Beiber off), and some more that have yet to be determined.
Me: Will they accept?
Aaron: Who knows. Wait wtf why the hell am I the bride?

(A few days later)

Me: I just thought of the perfect wedding date for you and Nathaneal! Pi Day! In 2015! It would be awesome!
Aaron: Um yes. That would be amazing. at 9:53 in the morning.
Me: There ya go. You have your groom and wedding date. Now you just need everything else.
Aaron: Will you be our wedding planner?
Me: Do you actually trust me to be your wedding planner?
Aaron: It could be kinda crazy.
Me: I could have you both in bikinis and getting married in Antarctica. Which would be funny.
Aaron: Ummmm ok, you’re fired. We aren’t going to have any of that.
Me: Haha, whew! That could have been disastrous for us all. I should not be in charge of anything.

 

After a very silly conversation in which we discussed the wind:

Me: You are ridiculous.
Aaron: You use that word so often. I dont think it means what you think it means.
Me: Hahaha, that’s a great use of that quote.
Aaron: I know. However, that isnt the exact quote; it’s close enough though.
Me: Yeah, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
Aaron: Haha, yeah, now try telling that to all of these teens that wear tons of makeup and eyeliner.
Me: It would be perfect if they didnt wear it at all.
Aaron: Well when society turns “beauty” into something that is impossible to achieve besides through photoshop it gets hard to be perfect.
Me: Yeah. That’s why I eat chocolate. To tell society “F*** you!”

 

There will probably be more posts like this in the future because I’m no writer, therefore my “writer’s block” is more of a “blogger’s Great Wall of China.”

~Accidentally Pleasant

*insert Hitchhiker’s Guide joke here*

At last! I found the answer to the life, the universe, and everything!

Well, at least the answer to my life, my universe, and my everything: an M&M Blizzard. I should have gotten a large instead of a medium.

~Accidentally Pleasant

PS: No…seriously. Give me an M&M DQ Blizzard, and I’ll love you forever.

PPS: I realize that there are thousands of pictures like this on the internet, but I don’t care.

PPPS: Does it count that I was eating this during the first snowfall we’ve had all winter??

PPPPS: This has been a terrible winter for sledding. 😦 Who stole our snow?

Sponsors of All Kinds

Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend for dinner at a little Italian place. Like every other restaurant in America, the tv was tuned into the game. We picked a table where we couldn’t see it, because, well, American football is lame compared to the real thing. Aaron (boyfriend) could see the game if he leaned back in his chair, so while we were waiting on our food, he watched a commercial or two. The following is a conversation where I tried to have an interest in sports.

Me: So who’s winning?

Aaron: The Giants

Me: THE VAGINAS??

Aaron: What? No, the Giants. Where did you get Vaginas from? You are deaf.

Me: I don’t know. I don’t know much about football.

*five minutes pass*

Aaron: Who would sponsor them?

Me: Summer’s Eve.

Aaron: *annoyed look* I know what that is. I stock at a grocery store.

Me: Then you know how perfect it is to have them sponsor the Vaginas.

Trojan would sponsor the Penises.

I wonder who would sponsor the Breasts…VICTORIA SECRET!!

Who would sponsor the Testicles?

Aaron: An athletic cup.

Me: YES!!

We watched the halftime show back at his place but turned off the tv to watch a movie, and this morning as we were listening to the radio, we were told the winners.

Aaron and I: THE VAGINAS WON!!!!!

Thank you, Giants. This wouldn’t have been as funny if you had lost.

~Accidentally Pleasant